The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
