dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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