if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
