You made me cry and you don't even care
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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