Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
