I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
