I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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