That's intense
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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