I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
