i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
