Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize