I don't think brook has ever known best
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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