So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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