What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I smell stomach acid.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment