I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
