He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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