Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
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youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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