Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
