Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
