the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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