I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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