She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
