I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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