I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
