Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
