and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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