I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
