I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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