Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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