just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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