Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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