I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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