You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
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Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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