Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize