moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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