I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
