either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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