My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
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yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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