Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
