The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
