Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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