you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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