i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize