I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
