he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
