You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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