the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize