I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
