And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
