he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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