im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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