is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
