If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize